A priest in my community once asked a group of us in a Christian education workshop if we were denying our children/babies food at our homes because they didn’t understand what the purpose of the food was? This has stuck with me for over 20 years.
“Kids need to understand communion BEFORE they begin to participate in it" is such a wild take to me now. Like, to what level do they need to understand it? To what level do ADULTS need to understand? And what do we mean by "understand," and does our definition of understanding exclude neurodivergent folk or anyone with a developmental disability?
That is to say, I agree with you here that understanding is not a good prerequisite for participation.
I had wanted to ask you about this - my 8 year old daughter took communion until our pastor announced it was only for those who are confirmed or baptized. She stopped taking it and felt embarrassed about it - I’m afraid she’s going to take it that Jesus didn’t open the invitation to include her. We read about what Jesus said about communion in the Bible but I think this is a confusing mixed message to little ones. Thank you for your words in confirming what I’ve been feeling about it.
I have one kid who likes to take communion and one who has no interest. He's usually caught up in drawing. I'm not forcing the issue, though I do feel a little weird about his refusal and have told him, "this is important for Christians." He's 9 and I'm wondering if this is something that will pass?
I would guess it will, and (I think) it’s ok to just let it go for now. There will come a time when it will make sense to ask him more about it, or ask him to be an observer for those few minutes, or something. But it’s not like God is upset with him being in process.
I also have a 6 year old who takes communion and an almost-9 year old who says "nope." He doesn't like the texture of the wafer (which our church uses instead of bread, for allergen reasons). We've decided that he can participate when he wants to, and otherwise he can keep reading his Star Wars book.
"The doing brings the learning. We all grow into what communion means as we celebrate it.
Children grow to understand communion AS they participate in it."
This is true for myself, too! Thanks for continuing to help me reweave some of the hard and fast rules I carry into what is more grace-filled, accessible, and meaningful, Meredith. Grateful for your work.
It’s true for me too. I remember the adults who first helped my rigid, do-it-right late adolescent self recognize the power of practice. I’m still so grateful.
I wanted to add to this incredible resource that not all Protestant churches think similarly about communion. Some will say it is symbolic and others will not. I would encourage families unsure about this aspect of it and how to talk to their kids to ask us, the pastors/priests too. We want to help you!
I am so thankful to read this also! My church does sort-of try to fence to table, but we have been letting them take it. We focus mostly on believing that Jesus will one day make everything right and will be feasting in heaven!
I do have some stress about the “threshold” of knowledge, though. Especially since we let our kids read or draw through the entire sermon. I try to encourage them to listen during the intro to communion. But, like, if my pastors asked my kids about what they believe about Jesus and their relationship to them I’m not sure what they’d say lol (I don’t think that will necessarily happen bc of this, I’m just imagining). But when I imagine that hypothetical scenario, I’m thankful for this being written out so beautifully — bc this is exactly my hope. That it will be ‘preaching’ to them all along.
A priest in my community once asked a group of us in a Christian education workshop if we were denying our children/babies food at our homes because they didn’t understand what the purpose of the food was? This has stuck with me for over 20 years.
Yes, what a helpful analogy.
“Kids need to understand communion BEFORE they begin to participate in it" is such a wild take to me now. Like, to what level do they need to understand it? To what level do ADULTS need to understand? And what do we mean by "understand," and does our definition of understanding exclude neurodivergent folk or anyone with a developmental disability?
That is to say, I agree with you here that understanding is not a good prerequisite for participation.
YES! To all of that. (And the same would apply to baptism and other practices we share, I'd say.)
I had wanted to ask you about this - my 8 year old daughter took communion until our pastor announced it was only for those who are confirmed or baptized. She stopped taking it and felt embarrassed about it - I’m afraid she’s going to take it that Jesus didn’t open the invitation to include her. We read about what Jesus said about communion in the Bible but I think this is a confusing mixed message to little ones. Thank you for your words in confirming what I’ve been feeling about it.
I agree that there’s mixed messaging on this one, for sure (which I find frustrating, because kids are impacted so much by it.)
I have one kid who likes to take communion and one who has no interest. He's usually caught up in drawing. I'm not forcing the issue, though I do feel a little weird about his refusal and have told him, "this is important for Christians." He's 9 and I'm wondering if this is something that will pass?
I would guess it will, and (I think) it’s ok to just let it go for now. There will come a time when it will make sense to ask him more about it, or ask him to be an observer for those few minutes, or something. But it’s not like God is upset with him being in process.
I also have a 6 year old who takes communion and an almost-9 year old who says "nope." He doesn't like the texture of the wafer (which our church uses instead of bread, for allergen reasons). We've decided that he can participate when he wants to, and otherwise he can keep reading his Star Wars book.
"The doing brings the learning. We all grow into what communion means as we celebrate it.
Children grow to understand communion AS they participate in it."
This is true for myself, too! Thanks for continuing to help me reweave some of the hard and fast rules I carry into what is more grace-filled, accessible, and meaningful, Meredith. Grateful for your work.
It’s true for me too. I remember the adults who first helped my rigid, do-it-right late adolescent self recognize the power of practice. I’m still so grateful.
I wanted to add to this incredible resource that not all Protestant churches think similarly about communion. Some will say it is symbolic and others will not. I would encourage families unsure about this aspect of it and how to talk to their kids to ask us, the pastors/priests too. We want to help you!
Yes! Such a good point. Thank you!
I am so thankful to read this also! My church does sort-of try to fence to table, but we have been letting them take it. We focus mostly on believing that Jesus will one day make everything right and will be feasting in heaven!
I do have some stress about the “threshold” of knowledge, though. Especially since we let our kids read or draw through the entire sermon. I try to encourage them to listen during the intro to communion. But, like, if my pastors asked my kids about what they believe about Jesus and their relationship to them I’m not sure what they’d say lol (I don’t think that will necessarily happen bc of this, I’m just imagining). But when I imagine that hypothetical scenario, I’m thankful for this being written out so beautifully — bc this is exactly my hope. That it will be ‘preaching’ to them all along.