Rituals, School Days, Family Warmth
Rituals, School Days, Family Warmth
a lovely trio to support a kid's faith
While we don’t head back to school here until Aug 30, I did buy a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils at Target this week. Also, name that movie?
So as we practice being in clean clothes by 7-something AM and redownload ClassDojo, can I suggest one thing you might consider as well? I want you to take a few minutes to consider the rituals that can be part of your child’s school day.
Why rituals?
Rituals are the small ways we infuse affirmation, connection and warmth into our ordinary days.
And family warmth supports long-term faith.
One study found that family warmth was more correlated with faith transmission than any other relational factor. The study included 300 families and spanned 35 years; it was really robust.
Family warmth is big. Cultivating it happens in the small.
So let’s revisit our rituals: the small ways we infuse affirmation, connection and warmth into our ordinary days.
Where to start? Here are 3 areas to consider:
The bookends of their school day.
Last words: what do you say to them as they leave you and head into school?
You’re a great kid and I hope you have a great day!
I love you and I like you.
You are a gift and I’m so glad I get to be your [insert your role/nickname here].
First words: what do you say to them as you come together at the end of the day? (Hint: “How was your day?” rarely works as the first thing.)
“I’m so glad to see you!”
“You made it through the day! How’d it feel?”
Maybe it’s snack time instead of something you say.
Homeschooling? What do you do to transition from morning-mode to school mode? And then from school-mode to rest & play mode?
Car Time
What makes the few minutes riding in the car feel warm and connected?
Have a magic car question for the rides to and from school (Whether it’s silly Would You Rathers, “Who will you hang out with at recess today?”
Play a song you all love.
What if the car was quiet? Some kids may actually love to ride in silence, so they can just be.
Lunch Box Blessing
If your child brings a lunch, consider a ritual of writing a note. It can be one sentence, or a doodle. It can be the same each day or something new.
If your kid feels too old, but you could have a ‘secret code’ note, like how ‘143’ is ‘I love you’. (This was all the rage in my junior high yearbook, and I think it holds up.)
No lunch box? Try a pillow note for when they get into bed instead, or a post it on the mirror for when the brush teeth.
Now, as always, my advice is not to do all 3.
Pick one.
The one you like the most, or the one you can realistically implement, or the one you know your kid would click with instantly. This year I’m thinking about what it feels like as they come home, because it’s been a bit…bumpy…in the past. Hanger and all.
And of course, you might have an awesome idea for a ritual all your own—something to try, or something you already do. If so, would you pop it in the comments to add ideas to the mix?
You’ll find more on both family warmth and rituals in Woven, by the way.
Speaking of… I was not clear enough last week that if you think you could read and review the book by August 24 I CAN GET YOU A DIGITAL COPY TO START READING NOW! Sheesh. Kind of important!
So, if that changes things for you and you’d be willing to review the book (especially on Amazon, but anywhere helps!) let me know?
Meanwhile, these words about Woven came from Sarah Bessey and I was just filled with gratitude and excitement for you to read it:
"Rooted in God's goodness and a deep respect for the dignity of children, "Woven" is exactly what so many of us parents have desperately needed. In contrast to the shame and fear-based models of parenting or discipling children - with which many of us are sadly familiar, this warm and wise book operates from a practical, graceful, trust-based paradigm which makes room for your own questions, wrestlings, and story even as you seek to raise your kids in a faith that honours their agency and truth, too. If talking about God and the Bible and other matters of faith with kids has felt like an uncharted wilderness with potential for danger, Meredith is the compassionate, experienced guide we needed all along as we reimagine faith formation with generosity and love."
- Sarah Bessey, NYT bestseller "A Rhythm of Prayer" and "Jesus Feminist"
BIBLE STORY BREAKDOWN: EXODUS
Next Tuesday we’re breaking down the exodus story. What questions do you or the kids in your life have about this? Let me know and we’ll try to cover them too!