Practicing Gratitude

Part 4: 3 practices and a journey guide to help

Nov 02, 2023

November is here, and the world is both sweet and aching at once, as always. We Trick or Treated with friends last night; I read the news again today day. I’m feeling my way, day by day, through the tension of grief and hope, now and not yet. And I hope you are able to as well.

For members of the Kids + Faith Community, today’s Kids + Faith Newsletter is the fourth and final practice in our family faith practice series, along with Sabbath, Generosity, and Forgiveness.

Want to join us? The Kids + Faith Community receive weekly emails for just $30 for the year or $5/month. And this whole series is waiting there for you.

In this family faith practices series, we’ve had menu-style ideas to help you explore the them. Pick and choose; don’t do them all at once, and see what clicks best.

IDEA 1: A key Bible story that connects to what that practice is about
IDEAS 2-4: Ways to Wonder, Play, & Pray as your kids explore and respond to that story

THEN! You’ll find specific help to bring that practice to life in your family.

(Just want that? Scroll down to “Practice Together.”)

Today we’re talking Gratitude AND the Family Gratitude Journey Guide is ready for you! Let’s dive in!

Is there anything so melodious as the sound of the unprompted "Thank you" from the lips of our kid? Any time it happens, my heart flutters.

But it often isn't said. Because real kids who aren't robots neither feel nor express gratitude each and every time they could.

And you know what? Neither do I. So I practice, and I help my kids practice. Here are some ideas for how that can go.

Jesus Heals a Man Who Asks - Matthew 8, Mark 1, Luke 5

I picked this story on purpose because the man who is healed does not explicitly express gratitude. Rather, this story invites kids to focus on Jesus’ response to the man—”I am willing”. Our gratitude flows from noticing the many ways our God is willing—to help, to forgive, to comfort, to guide—the list goes on.

When it comes to gratitude, kids are often told stories like the 1 man who returned to say thank you when 10 were healed. But this story helps us move away from humans-as-heroes, as we should.

Language fun: When Mark tells this story, he notes that Jesus is emotional about this request. Jesus is moved with anger/compassion. Depending on the translation, you’ll get one word or the other. It’s an interesting connection—insofar as Jesus is mad, it’s about something worth being mad about—a person who is suffering, a person who is desperate for help when God would want them whole. Jesus isn’t mad at the man, of course; he’s compassion-angry that something is wrong and someone is hurting.

I wonder how the man found Jesus?
I wonder what the man was thinking or feeling before meeting Jesus?
I wonder why Jesus didn’t want the man to tell anyone what happened?
I wonder who the man told first, since he didn’t listen to Jesus about that?

Mother, May I?

Before I remind you of the rules to this game, here’s why I included it. I think it’s an ‘opposite game’. That is, God is NOT like the ‘mother’ role, but sometimes people represent God that way. And that’s something you can chat about after you play.

Lots of kids don’t know this game nowadays, which actually can work nicely.

If they like it, cool! If they find the game to be annoying and arbitrary (I kinda feel like it is, but I did this with a group recently age 6-11 and they liked it), that’s OK too.

How to “Play Mother May I?”

One person is the mother and the rest of the kids line up shoulder-to-shoulder many feet away from them.
One at a time, kids request to take a certain number and type of steps (baby, normal, giant, hops, backwards, crab—get silly here!) towards the mother. The mother can say ‘yes’, ‘no’, or change the request. (i.e. “Mother may I take 3 giant steps?” “No, you may take 2.”)
Kids must remember to ask “Mother May I?” before they move. If they forget they go back to the start line.
The first player to touch the mother wins and becomes the new mother.

After you play

Say: “Sometimes people think God is like the mother in the game, deciding if God feels like saying yes or not just because. It’s fine for the game, of course. But when it’s for real, I’m glad to know God listens, and cares, and is ready to help us.”

Ask:

What do you think? Is it easy or hard for you to believe God is ready and willing to help us? Why?
How do you feel after someone helps you?
In the story, it was easy for the man to see Jesus’ help. Sometimes it’s easy for us to, but not always. What about you? Is it easy or hard to notice ways God helps you?

If you have a story of God’s help in your life, share it. How did you feel before, during, after? How long did that help take (because it’s ok if the answer is very long)? Was it hard along the way?

FINISH THE SENTENCE PRAYERS

This simple prayer practice works for almost every age. The key is to let the list-making be however short or long it has steam. It’s totally fine if it’s not long, or if you are the only one who makes the list and your kiddo doesn’t talk aloud.

“Let’s name people in our lives!” Call out names—family, friends, teachers, coaches, community members, etc. When the list runs its course, close with, “Thank you God for all these people. Amen.”
“Let’s name yummy foods! Thank you God for…” Call out foods and when the list runs its course, close with, “We’re so glad you gave us taste buds and all these neat flavors. Amen.”
- If you have older kids, you might add, “We also know not everyone has enough of what they need, including food. We ask you to help them, and when we have the chance to be helpers, we want to say ‘yes’.”

You can do this with lots of categories: places we go, community helpers, or things we do for fun.

GROW GRATITUDE

(This is actually 3 proven practices!)

One key thing about gratitude is that it's a secondary response. We feel it only once we've developed practices that helps us be aware of what to be grateful for.

In other words, grateful people tune themselves into good things, big and small, and allow thankfulness to flow from them in response.

So when we want to be a family that is growing in gratitude, here are 3 practices that can help us--kids and adults alike:

(1) The practice of noticing goodness.

Simply name good things as you experience them. You might write them, share them at meal or bedtime, take pictures with your phone, or silently say them in your own mind. However you go about it, noticing goodness cultivates gratitude.

(2) The practice of expressing gratitude for others.

We say "I'm thankful for you," and "Thank you for..." to the people around us. List the people for whom you are thankful, and actually tell them so in a text, a note, or even real mail. The key here is to say the words.

(3) The practice of finding something good in hard times.

In the midst of difficult experiences, is there also something to also be grateful for? This is not a practice that dismisses or ignores painful things, but that looks for one good thing in the midst of them. Practice living in the tension of "both being true" by naming the hard and the good.

Let’s make it happen with the Family Gratitude Journey Guide!

To give you a simple, super-fun way to try these practices out with your kids, I wrote the Family Gratitude Journey Guide!

Get the Guide

It's intentionally simple:

The plan: Over the month, do 3 activities, have 3, 10-minute Family Chats, which each focus on just one Bible verse.

The Gratitude Journey also includes:

A planning guide to help you get this journey on your calendar.
Beautiful printable Bible Verse Cards designed by Jenny Metcher (@TheLetteringJenny). (The picture is one of them!)
BONUS printable: 12 fun Thanksgiving Conversation Starters kids can really answer.