God's not real, church is boring, & other Q's

plus a NEW thing coming!

Happy February! As a Southern Californian, I am required to start by saying that it’s raining here. That’s the answer to how we’re doing today. We all toggle between saying, “We need it” and realizing that most of our state is on an incline or at the bottom of said incline and the flooding is no joke.

Let’s dive in!

Today we’ve got 5 short answers to these 5 questions:

• My 7 year old said God isn’t real because we can’t see God and there's no proof. Response?

• What language do you use when talking about sin with kids?

• What do I say when my kid says church is boring and he doesn’t want to go?

• Do you have a children’s Bible storybook you recommend?

• I’d love an overview of different atonement theories with Easter on the way.

But first, if you resonate with the following at all…

I want to talk with my kids about the Bible more, but I feel like I don’t know enough about it. Or even if I do, it’s like I don’t know how I say it for a kid. Help?

…I gotta tell you, 2024 is THE YEAR to be in the Kids + Faith Community.

If you feel this way, I think the very best thing you can do is get more comfortable in the Bible yourself.

Any principles you can use to help talk about the Bible with kids (like God-centered storytelling or kid-accessible paraphrases) work best when you feel more aware of what’s going on in both the smaller story and the larger narrative arc of the Bible.

What if there were a tool to help you with that, but it was also written knowing you want to talk to kids about it all?

Starting next week in the Kids + Faith Community, that’s what’s coming.

We’re doing a Great Big Bible Story Walkthrough!

What is it?

A Bible story a week, straight to your inbox. Each email will have:

• a kid-accessible paraphrase of the Bible story — aka SAY IT LIKE THIS!

• an Ask Away podcast episode for the story — aka THIS IS ANOTHER WAY TO SAY IT! You can listen to it with kids or on your own for another version of the story. (And yes, after a 6 month hiatus, Ask Away returns!)

• 3 ideas—Wonder, Play, and Pray—for responding to the story with your kids — aka DO THIS (or this, or this) AFTER THE STORY!

• a Biblical commentary and context cheat sheet, curated especially for conversations with kids —aka HERE’S HELP WITH THE WEIRD PARTS!

This is a resource you can use each week with your family or save for anytime they have questions (there’ll be PDFs to keep!).

It’s here to help you feel better equipped to explore the Bible with kids and do it in a way that fits the framework in Woven.

We’ll start with the “Pentateuch Pack” - a selection of 10-ish stories from Genesis-Deuteronomy that can help kids get their bearings in the larger biblical plot. BONUS! It’ll help you if the Old Testament feels like a risky place.

So, is this a family devotional?

Not really– this is a toolkit, assembled one Bible story at a time, and you can take those tools and use them for your family in ways that work for you. So if the idea of one story a week with a menu of ideas sounds fun, you’ll love it.

I’m a church leader—is this curriculum?!

Kinda? But it’s a particular kind of curriculum—no slide deck, no videos, no hour-long program design. It ain’t the stuff from the publishing companies.

This is what I make for my own church, drawing on things I advocate for, like: one truth, not one shot; keep it short, simple, and silly; and God-centered storytelling with zero prescribed application.

I love it, and it works, if ‘works’ means kids love it, they talk a lot while doing it, volunteers can easily use it, and it helps them explore and respond to God and the Bible.

However, church folks, if you try it, like it, and decide to use it, I’m going to ask your church to pay a bit more for it. Less than $5 a Sunday, but more than $30/year, mmmk? I’ll have more on that on the 13th after you can check it out.

My 7 year old said God isn’t real because we can’t see God and there's no proof. Response?

It’s really normal at this age to work with what is concrete and can be observed through the 5 senses. Often it helps to start by acknowledging that reality.

It’s true that there’s no proof, at least in the way they are wanting it. And that’s ok.

Then talk about what we do have- stories from people who are trustworthy, both in the Bible and our faith communities and families. Tell stories (over time) of things God has done. Talk about the things that have helped you believe Gods’ real. 

Perhaps counterintuitively, as you do that, continue to acknowledge that they’re not sure about all this. Say things like, “I know you’re not sure God’s real, but one reason I think God’s real is…” (Again, those reasons should be stories of God’s action, not apologetics-style principles.) You’re reminding them that they get to take their time.

For example, when my older child went through this phase (I talk about this in Woven), one piece that helped was talking about nature being beautiful. I’d say, “One reason I still think God’s real is how beautiful sunrises are. Like, the day doesn’t have to start this way, and I know there’s a science reason for the colors, but I also think God made a good and beautiful world.” And then I’d stop, because short is always a good idea.

Acknowledge their point. Tell stories. Give it time.

What language do you use when talking about sin with kids?

My go-to phrases are:

Sin is anything that isn’t what God wants.

and

Sin is God’s opposite.

This is my answer to Something true. At their level. That you can build on later.

Here’s how it goes. I use one of those two and then immediately say, “Because what do we know about what God’s like?” We list attributes out. 

Then I say, “And what would it be like if the world worked that way, do you think?” We talk about how lovely that would be. 

And I close with something like, “So sin is the ways the world works that goes against kindness, compassion, justice, generosity (or whatever attributes they just named). It’s when things are mean and selfish and only the powerful get to be OK.”

I tend to talk far more about Sin as a force (the way Paul does) or an adjective–a description of why the world is not how God wants. What I don’t do is reduce the conversation on sin to actions that can be labeled “a sin” or “not a sin”. That doesn’t mean we can’t talk about how we participate in it. We can. But we want a definition that can hold more of the many ways the Bible talks about it.

You can read more on this here (for paid subscribers) or here (free).

What do I say when my kid says church is boring and he doesn’t want to go?

You say, “Oh, really? Tell me more about that.” In other words, you get curious.

Maybe when you asked this you hoped I’d have an answer about how to get your kid to value it and want to go. But before we talk about that, the more important question is: are they right?

Is it boring? Or is there something else about it that they don’t like? Understanding that will help you think about the next right step for them. Because maybe finding a way to go anyway is the right thing to do, but maybe you should take a break and do something as a family at home for a while. Maybe you should find a church they like better. 

You can’t decide that until you’re really clear about what they’re thinking and feeling.

Now, if you’re also wondering How do I explain to my kid why church matters? I’d say:

Church matters because no one follows Jesus alone. Faith is a group activity. We are meant to live with others in ways that match who God is. We get to love each other and care for each other and help each other because that matches what God’s like. So we are part of church because that’s where we have a group to live out our faith.

Church also matters because sometimes life is hard, and we take care of each other. And sometimes following Jesus is hard, and we help each other. When I’m having a hard time with God, I have other people who have been there too. When I have big questions, I know I’m not the only one. And it’s ok for it to be hard or confusing, even for a long time, because I can hang on to others for a while.

Do you have a children’s Bible storybook you recommend?

I do not, because I decided ‘round about when my kids could read to stop using them. My kids didn’t love them anyway, and I was changing a lot of the words as we went. Like, a whole lot of them.

But if I were looking for a kid’s Bible, I’d look for 5 things:

• What’s the art like?

• What stories are included?

• Does it fit theologically?

• Does it use God-centered storytelling?

• How do the stories close?

Here’s what I mean:

• Art style - I check for how they represent skin tones and hair colors and textures, both in people and angels. Even cartoon style art can do this well.

• Story selection - I check for the stories to be age accessible. No list will be a perfect match to my preferences, of course, but I hope the majority are stories kids can engage with thematically & theologically (without “kidifying” them).

• Theological alignment - I check for how they tell Genesis 1, Genesis 3, and the Easter story. This gives a snapshot of their key theology. For instance, I look for strong love and delight from God in creation and don’t do penal substitutionary atonement.

• God centered storytelling - I check for whether the storytelling points most of all to who God is or what God is like vs how the humans act.

• After each story- I check for how the stories close. Do they invite kids to wonder or point out something about who God is? Great! Or do they tell a kid exactly what to do or be? That’s a pass for me.

This is also going to depend on your kid–do they like the art? The story length? The writer’s voice? 

With that in mind, here are a few I’d say to look into based on colleague’s input, if that’s something you want.

A shelf at Old Pine church in Philadelphia.

I’d love an overview of different atonement theories with Easter on the way.

If you’d like a good intro book, The Nature of the Atonement: Four Views is great because Joel Green’s work both in representing the kaleidoscopic view AND taking penal substitution to task are brilliant.

The key is to remember that you don’t actually have to pick only one. The Bible doesn’t. Many of the theories help summarize one or more of the ways the biblical writers understood Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. (Like a kaleidoscope!)

We also did this last year in the Kids + Faith Community! The series is called Why is Easter Good News? and looks at 6 biblical images for what Jesus’ life, death and resurrection accomplish and mean for us:

• God gives and is our peace

• Jesus shows us who God is

• Jesus frees us

• Jesus shows us who we are

• Jesus gives us life

• Jesus breaks injustice

One thing I loved about this series was the chance to include a “What’s that got to do with kids?” reflection for each one and a relevant Bible Story Breakdown.

(Also, if you’d like non-penal substitutionary Easter stuff for kids, I got you!)

Easter will be here in 6 weeks, and I’ve got two fun resources for you! Both have a version for younger and another for older kids.

• Easter Family Toolkits include 7 Bible stories with a paraphrase and response activity ideas for you to do together.

• Easter Story Hunts just tells the Resurrection Sunday story in age appropriate ways.

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Ok, that’s all for now! Hope to see you next week as we kick off the Pentateuch!