Back to School & the Power of Ritual

Family warmth is big. Cultivating it happens in the small.

Aug 3, 2022

While we don’t head back until Aug 31, Target tells me it’s back to school time…but it’s 90 degrees out. Mercy.

So as we prep supplies and practice being groomed by 7-something AM, one more thing you might consider are the rituals that can be part of your child’s school day.

Why rituals? They are the small ways we infuse affirmation, connection and warmth into our ordinary days.

And family warmth supports long-term faith.

One study found that family warmth was more correlated with faith transmission than any other relational factor. The study included 300 families and spanned 35 years; it was really robust.

Family warmth is big. Cultivating it happens in the small.

So let’s revisit our rituals: the small ways we infuse affirmation, connection and warmth into our ordinary days.

Where to start? Here are 3 areas to consider:

The bookends of their school day.

Last words: what do you say to them as they leave you and head into school?

You’re a great kid and I hope you have a great day!
I love you and I like you.
You are a gift and I’m so glad I get to be your [insert your role/nickname here].

First words: what do you say to them as you come together at the end of the day? (Hint: “How was your day?” rarely works as the first thing.)

“I’m so glad to see you!”
“You made it through the day! How’d it feel?”
Maybe it’s snack time instead of something you say.

Homeschooling? What do you do to transition from morning-mode to school mode? And then from school-mode to rest & play mode?

Car Time

What makes the few minutes riding in the car feel warm and connected?

Have a magic car question for the rides to and from school (Whether it’s silly Would You Rathers, “Who will you hang out with at recess today?”
Play a song you all love.
What if the car was quiet? Some kids may actually love to ride in silence, so they can just be.

Lunch Box Blessing

If your child brings a lunch, consider a ritual of writing a note. It can be one sentence, or a doodle. It can be the same each day or something new.

If your kid feels too old, but you could have a ‘secret code’ note, like how ‘143’ is ‘I love you’. (This was all the rage in my junior high yearbook, and I think it holds up.)
No lunch box? Try a pillow note for when they get into bed instead, or a post it on the mirror for when the brush teeth.

Now, as always, my advice is not to do all 3. Pick one. The one you like the most, or the one you can realistically implement, or the one you know your kid would click with instantly. Personally, I’m thinking about the last words I’ll say before they head in.

And of course, you might have an awesome idea for a ritual all your own—something to try, or something you already do. If so, would you pop it in the comments to add ideas to the mix?

Back to school. Let’s do this,

Meredith

P.S. If you missed my episode with Kelsey on the Lady Preacher Podcast, check it out! We covered so much, like ‘What does sin mean?’ and why telling kids “Jesus died for your sin” bugs me.

Listen on iTunes or Spotify or any podcast platform.